Ep #109 “How to Build A Lifestyle You are Proud Of” with Dai Manuel
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About Dai Manuel
Dai Manuel is a lifestyle mentor, fitness coach, motivational speaker, former COO of Fitness Town Inc., professional blogger, competitive athlete, and all-around life enhancer.
After personally battling obesity as a teenager, Dai became committed to engaging as many people as possible in living healthier, more active lives. Dai believes that lifelong happiness and well-being must be built on a rock-solid foundation of health, and that a sustainable healthy lifestyle is possible for everyone. Through his award-winning blog The Moose is Loose, and his coaching programs, Dai has helped thousands of people to reach their health and fitness goals. Dai is also a proud dad and husband who lives with his family in Vancouver, Canada.
Connect with Dai
Website / Instagram / Youtube / 5 Day Sugar Detox
Book
Quotes
“This is the question. My wife asks me; “Dai, Are you being the type of man that you would want to marry your daughters?” Drop the mic, punch me in the nose and kick between the legs at the same time. It was like an instant overwhelming feeling of like, ‘wow!’, all the air was sucked out of me, and I knew she was right, I was not.”
“So if you're struggling with answering the question, “am I worth it?” You can't say “hell yeah! I'm worth it.” Find a community to belong to, and ask yourself who do I need to surround myself with, to help me accomplish these changes I wanna make. Because they will have enough belief because they're just further along on the same journey. That they can drip into us that don't have the belief in our self yet. They give us that belief until we have for ourselves.”
Takeaways from the interview
What personal belief is holding you back?
What hard question in your life are you avoiding?
Who are you surrounding yourself with to help you change your beliefs?
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Transcript of Episode #109
All right. Well, welcome to metaphors Podcast. I'm excited to have my guest today. Di manuelle. Man, it's great to have you,
Cartwright. It's awesome to be here. It's like, you know, before we hit record, I know we were catching up there. And this has been a longtime comment.
Tell me, no, I lost count every time I had to reschedule with you. But I know, it's more times than I care to admit. So but I'm just so glad to be here. And thank you for creating a platform for these conversations to happen. Because I'll tell you, you know, you're chatting about men, especially men in their 20s, right. And it's a very interesting time in our lives in our 20s. And when I think back, because that was 20 years ago for me, right? I'm 45 now, but if I went back 20 years ago, home, man, if I could tap into these types of conversations, be a fly on the wall to hear some of this stuff. Yeah, life probably would have gone differently. You know, now I don't have any regret. My life has gone the way it's gone. And I've learned along assessed, there's been a lot of hard stuff. My life, I got no problem with that. But at times, having good mentorship would have been really valuable. So I just want to say thank you, you know, for the opportunity to be here, but also thank you for putting this out to the world.
Absolutely, man, thank you for saying that. Yeah, I appreciate that. Um, you know, I'm, like I said, I'm trying to serve the person I used to be. Yeah, so I guess I mean, you just kind of led me in there. So what you know. I love to kind of think through this is what I help trying to help my listeners really engaged with their own personal story of what they learned and what, from their own life. And so really, you growing up, you know, what was maybe something that really stuck out from your upbringing that you really think about in your adulthood?
Well, I mean, give us a real quick synopsis. And we'll pick what part we want to talk about because there's, you know, obviously 45 laps around the sun. I've done a couple things, you know, I've, I've lived through some pretty hard stuff, but we all have, you know, like, again, my story is that unique, well, it's uniquely my own. But a lot of the circumstances I've worked through are common circumstances that many of us work through, especially men, right? And, again, full disclosure, I'm a man who identifies as a man. Okay, so when I'm using language, and when I'm sharing my story, please recognize this from that perspective. Okay. And that's it, all I can speak about is what I've experienced from my perspective. And that because I do have a 19 year old daughter that's very adamant about pronoun usage, and gender fluidity. And so I'm trying to learn, okay, I'm trying to learn, because you still can learn. So, you know, at from nine to 14, I was morbidly obese. Hmm, I was big kid, really big kid, went through some changes at 15 got to a place where I was more afraid of not changing than changing. I funny how we get to that place, don't we? Yeah, it's like, I'm more afraid if I stay as I am, right now, I know life isn't gonna get better, it's gonna get harder. So maybe I should make a change. And so that was my first time really encountering that kind of a thing. And anyways, fast forward 20 months later, made some big, big shifts and transformations. And, you know, but unfortunately, my social anxiety, my depression, my overwhelmed with life, and all the cliches that come with somebody in that state of unhealth I was living and even though as I was making these physical changes, I wasn't making the internal changes. And I learned early on that if I drank, I could be somebody else. Yeah, you know, and a lot of those inhibitions that go away, my social anxiety will go away. And I could open up and I could be somebody very different. And that started to become somebody that not only that I believed that people around me preferred hanging out with, but I actually got to a place thinking that that's the person that was more value than I was. Yeah. Which is really weird when you think about it, because I mean, when I reflect on it, yeah, my nickname was fun guy die, you know, fun guy. Like, I was great drinker. I was, I was great at it. A lot of fun, you know, I'd go to conferences for my business and, you know, you work in deals with with the suppliers, and they'd be like, Okay, well, we're done the deal. Now. What? Where are you going tonight? More importantly, you know, where are you hanging out tonight? Guy? We want to be there. You know, like, I had this reputation. Yeah. And it's funny in the heat of it, especially late 20s, early 30s. I was proud of that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because my identity was attached to that, you know, and anyways, it's 20 it's got, you know, my wife had a couple of kids, you know, my two daughters now they're now 17 and 19. And, but the business that I was fortunate to co found was a fitness equipment, business, fitness equipment, supplies, supplements, apparel, to b2b and to consumers. So, brick and mortar retail operations. So we had eight stores and a couple of b2b enterprises and, you know, manufacturing overseas, like, really, I did it for 17 years, a long time. Wow. And lots of highs and lows, I learned a lot, but got to a place where life was just not manageable anymore. And, you know, in my early 30s, and that's when my drinking really got out of control. And I made a big change, a really big change, and will probably want to unpack that in a second. But I'll just sort of finish the story. And then we'll just pick where do we want to leap off to because I know people are thinking like, Okay, well, that's where are we going with this? Right? And I'm already thinking, Where am I going with this? Okay, so, in my early 30s, I made a big change. And actually, I did a TEDx talk last year, and I share about that story about where I made this this pinnacle. I reached the pinnacle, where I realized I had to make a change again, because I was more afraid if I didn't make the change, I was gonna lose my family. Like my kids, my wife and my business, like, yeah, you know, as this very scary place, and it's a very real place, a lot of us will get to some times, and the thing that we often forget, which I forgot, you know, I was always thinking that, Oh, it's somebody else's fault. I'm here.
My fault. Ah, yeah,
these circumstances are not my fault. My creation, no, no, this is your fault. That person's fault. Oh, and the government's fault. And you know what I mean? Like, yes, really good at just pointing fingers, but never taking ownership. And so made some changes again, which eventually led me to completely doing a 180 with my life. Yeah. Because rather, being so focused on the professional development, I said, Well, what about if I want to just develop myself as a person, as a human, as a man, as a father as a, as a husband, like, as a business owner, like, really starting to get clear with Who do I want to be. And then that put in motion, I left my career, pull the kids out of school, a few months after that my wife quit her job too. And we gave away all our stuff. We started traveling, wow. And traveled for about five years and two and a half years, we lived in Bali, Indonesia. And before the pandemic, we moved back to Vancouver, and, and kids are finishing school here. And you know, life is doing what we're doing. But that okay, so I just gave you a 20. Like, basically, like a 30. Year, and sorry, about four minutes. So I want to go first, you know, there we go. Lots to talk about, but obviously, I want to focus on the areas that you feel, you know, what do people need to hear right now, you know, we're struggling right now. Because trust me, I am either struggling and working through right now. Or it's something I have already worked through. That's all I can say.
I've got a couple of questions off of that. Want you guys? Well, I guess maybe more the macro version of it, or even just your own personal like, why is men do we on the catalyst to change always has to be what I'm about to lose? If I keep doing it, and not what do I gain?
It's fear. It's amazing how motivating fear can be Yeah, which is weird, right? Because it's a rather negative emotion. It's not like we wake up and we're like, Man, I really want to feel scared. Man, you know, why Rob enough? My life fear. It's like, no, it's but but fear does tend to motivate us, either because we want to run away from it. Or it's just a reminder that yeah, I'm really uncomfortable. And I'm not clear on where I'm going, you know, from a directional standpoint with life, because I mean, why do we set goals, goals? Just give us direction? Yeah, you know, it's a result that we hope to achieve. And usually there's some sort of emotional connection or release when we achieve it. But it's just simply a mile marker on our life's journey. I mean, that's all it is a goal. Is that just a life marker, right? It's just like, Oh, there's another milestone on this road, you know, well, and accomplish this great. But at least you've got direction. When we don't have directions. Well, we lack confidence, right? We lack vision. And it can be a very scary place when we feel like we're just drifting or floating, right? Because often, there's also lack of purpose and meaning. And when we don't have a purpose, and we don't feel connected to our life, and why we get up every morning, we really get good at procrastinating by doing other things that really, in the whole scheme of life, provide very little value to ourselves, nor to the people that we surround ourselves with. Yeah, and yet it becomes normal, it becomes our life. At some point, you know, I got to a place where I was just I wasn't satisfied. I wasn't having fun with life anymore, you know, and I was just going through the motions doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing, and feeling very unhappy. be, yeah. And to be fair, unfulfilled, and as such, because there's a huge chasm there that I felt like couldn't be filled. What would I do? I would drink so I didn't have to think about it. Give me set myself a little bit of reprieve. You know, and sometimes that will lead to certain drug use, which would also lead me to doing things that was so outside of my character, which made me feel tremendous guilt and shame and self blame, which would often at times what, oh, I'm feeling more anxious again, I should probably have another drink and the you know, the insist this vicious downward spiral that we sometimes find ourselves falling down and you an SS, man, it's weird, because sometimes I'm not saying all the time, but sometimes, especially in my situation, that was what was normal to me, because it was also what was role models based on my association. Yeah, I look at who I was hanging out with. That's what everybody was doing. So like, how am I supposed to know there's even a different route or different way of doing things when that's all I've watched my friends do? I think this is just normal. This is just the way it is, you know, like, but deep down. I knew that this was right. I wasn't feeling good. Yeah, I was feeling afraid. That's feeling fearful about my life. And then all of a sudden, you get to that place where it's like, oh, this fear, it's not just in my head. This is a reality. Yeah. And if I keep doing this, there's some clear repercussions that I have to be prepared to accept. Yeah, or we do something else. Right. And, and, yeah, I'd like to, you know, it might sound overly simplistic to say this. But when you find yourself in this situation, which I'm sure anybody that's listening or watching this, I'm sure you found yourself in a similar situation at some point in your life. And yet, you're still here. You did get through it. You can reflect back on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can reflect back on that situation and think about it and look at it from who you are now. And try to reframe it. What can you learn from that past experience? Absolutely.
Yeah.
And we do this, but I don't think we really give ourselves a lot of space to do it. More than just an afterthought. You know what I mean? Like, it's creating that intentional time to do this kind of a work. And, to be fair, it wasn't until I made some serious commitments, and especially I made a commitment to go one year without drinking, which, from the age of 17, to the age of 32, that was 15 years, the longest stint I ever did without having an alcoholic beverage was a month. Because I did some like sober January or something like that, you know, like, I don't remember what it was exactly. But I remember that was the longest stint I'd ever done without having to drink was like 30 days. And so just to put it in perspective, I made a covenant to my family. More importantly, myself one year without drinking. Yeah, was hard. Yeah. All the scores are mad. Like, it was hard, because there's probably guys thinking, oh, like, I could probably do that. And I'm like, oh, no, it depends. Like if it's becomes a regular habit or a ritual in your life. You're trying to go cold turkey and eliminate it entirely. It's tough. Huh? Just hard.
Yeah. There's something you said that I really think is interesting. And maybe this is why we escaped to alcohol addiction, pornography, whatever. Or we're Yeah, the midlife crisis is like you use the word procrastination. And to me, it's it's procrastinating. That big question you said is who do I want to be? Yeah, and what led you to actually really stop and do that? What was the kind of the hard quitting your job all that?
Well, you know, so once, like, the alcohol consumption just got to a place where it's just, it was so normal for me. But it wasn't normal for my wife. You know what I mean? Like, she wasn't willing to accept that as my normal because she fell in love with a certain man, she fell in love with me and the person I was and the ambition that I had, but also, you know, when we first start to date, that significant person in our life, right, that person that were might be ready to commit her entire life being with there are certain promises that are said and not said, yeah, like, especially the stuff that we say, but just through our actions. And so, she saw in me, not only the person that I was, and the person that I was expressing, I wanted to be through my actions, but also, you know, she was holding me accountable to some of those commitments. Yeah. Because she always saw the potential in me that even on my darkest days, I couldn't see myself. So she was a real powerful mirror for me in that respect, you know, she is and you know, and I hope everyone that has that significant partner in their life has something similar, that person that reminds you of the person that you know, you want to be and you have the potential of being bringing out the best in us, you know, and so, that as sort of the, with that awareness, and now that I've shared that, you know, when I fast forward to that time when I was 30, almost 33 You know, things Were not going very well. You know, I was drinking a lot more frequently, I was drinking alone at times, it was just so normal, you know, and often I go out with my friends, they invite me to go watch UFC, go play around a golf, you know, and it just would always inevitably turn into to a lot more than what it was intended to be. Because that was my normal. That's what we did. And, and then my wife sat me down one day. And I remember we were having a conversation, she she was at her wit's end, and she wanted to have a conversation, what would be like to co parent our kids? What would life look like for us to separate have a different, you know, kids live with her? See me occasionally, because to be fair, you know, she, she was like, This is not an environment I want to raise our kids in anymore. And she asked me a question as I'm trying to plead my case, right. I'm trying to, you know, that's, that's what we do. That place. Yeah, we're, I'm afraid now. Right? I'm like, Oh, my gosh, my family. I mean, it was my family, like, holy smokes. And I had nothing I could say to defend myself. And that's when I knew you know, what, there's some challenges here. But I really got to sober up and get aware of because she's right. Yeah. And she asked me a question. And now people are listening to this. This is the question. This is the
the question going up in Okay, ah,
she says die. Are you being the type of man that you would want to marry your daughter's? Well, yeah, exactly. Right. dropped the mic punch me in the nose and kicked me between the legs at the same time. You know, it was like, instant, instant, there was this overwhelming feeling of like, like, all the air was sucked out of me. Right. And, and I knew she was right. I was not like, to be fair, I actually had a vision. It was like, man, if the person that I was at that time, you know, 13 years ago, had I showed up on my doorstep and knocked on the door and, you know, showed up there said, Hey, I'm here to, you know, date your daughters, or to get to know your daughters better. Like, I wouldn't let them across the threshold. I mean, like you no way you're out of your body. But yet, that's who I was saying to them. This is what a man is. This is what a husband is. This was a business owners. This is what community leader is this is I was just saying this is it. I was the measuring stick through which they were comparing other men. And man, did I set the bar low? Like, I'm just I'm, I can own this right now. You know, I mean, 13 years ago was a lot more raw and real and the conversation be very different. Like we wouldn't be talking right now. Correct. There's just no way. I mean, even those first couple years, our conversation will be very different than what we are now. But what started that day, because I made a commitment. After she asked that question, I made a commitment to myself, but also for them to go one year without drinking, just to prove that I could to myself, to show that, no, this isn't the problem. But it was the problem. You know, which I learned very quickly, because then that first six weeks, it got really real very quickly and really hard. And from the standpoint, that was my go to for relieving stress and anxiety and overwhelm. I remove that entirely. And I'm like, What do I do to get rid of those feelings because they're still there. And I'm like, Oh, my God, I don't know what to do. And and because I removed that crutch. And because I was so committed and determined to go down this path to make some changes. I got to a place where all I was left to do was actually be fully honest and transparent with my wife and actually share how I was feeling.
Yeah. Which is a muscle most men don't really exercise.
I hadn't exercised, okay. Because I didn't know how and I always felt sheepish about it. You know, this idea of being vulnerable. I'm like, I'm like, my relationship with that word was No, that's a weakness. Right? Be vulnerable. Don't cry, like, no, that's not a man. But that's what I believe, because it's also what I was told. And it was what was reinforced to the actions of the men that I was surrounding myself with. I just didn't know any better, you know. And after getting really open with her and sharing how overwhelmed I was, and how hard it was, and just all my concerns and emotions about being a dad, and feeling like I was failing at that, like just like really just wrong. Real. I just lit the verbal dump, right? Yeah. But it was verbal, but it was just pouring out from my heart. And it really was, this is like me just telling her how I was feeling. And it was the first time in our 10 years at that point, we had been together already fight for 10 years and my kids were at six and four. And just something that arise that day. You know, like I felt heard. Yeah, but I also felt seen, like really seen Hmm. And from that conversation, you know, I expressed that I just, I need some help with this. I don't know what to do. Yeah. So together, she supported me, I found a psychologist and I started working with him for about four months, founder relationship counselor for us both to go and get better at communications with each other, to be more open to be able to talk about some of these more challenging conversations, because I didn't have the awareness on how to have the talk. How do I talk about my emotions in a way that doesn't make me feel, you know, weak? Like, yeah, that's then you know, can I do this in a way that still allows me to maintain that integrity of myself, you know, and I noticed, I just needed to learn that. And the funny thing was with the relationship counselor, like two sessions, and she's like, No, Christie, and wasting Christie, I think it's better if di comes on his own. When a relationship counselor is like, No, we just need to work with you. It's okay. It's alright. Just to sort of put things in perspective, right? And but here's the thing, and this is where I want to leave anybody that's listening to this right now. Because I'm not here to say, Hey, look at me, this is what I've done. This is not my point of sharing the story. My point of sharing this story is like, listen, I get it. I know how lonely and scary it can be when we find ourselves in that position, where we have to rely on exterior things, especially things that aren't good for our health, to just cope with the day to day. And I know it's awful. It's an awful place to be, it is scary, it is isolating. And it's a really hard place to be creative from to create impact for others from Yeah. And I know we all want to we all want that. We want to help others we do we you know, as human beings, we like to help one another. We like to connect with each other. We like community we do. You know, but not when we don't like ourselves. Like, yeah. So in that one year, so much changed for me. So much like the you I changed more in that one year than the previous 15 years. Yeah. We got to the end of the year. And it was hard. It was a lot of work. There's also a lot of fun. It's also nice, I had all this extra energy. I had extra money, extra focus and time. Yeah, because I wasn't hung over. You know, like, I just, I was just accomplishing a lot more. But I was also able to set goals. And I was actually able to reach those goals more quickly and efficiently. Because I didn't have any of the distractions side rail me anymore, right? We got to the end of the year, my wife, I remember, we're celebrating like, my god, I just did a year without drinking. She's like, do you want to celebrate my share bottle? And I'm like, you know, Christie, I feel so good. And I'm looking back and we're looking back on the year that was and I'm like, I've accomplished so much in this last year. What if I just keep going? Wow, what could that look like? Yeah. And now I'm coming up on 13 years, you know, 13 years, like it's but and everything's changed in 13 years, everything and it keeps changing. And it's very dynamic. And but I feel alive, and I feel connected to my life. And that is what I wish for every man out there. Absolutely. And every man deserves that. Yeah. And if we're lacking that, please know that there is always a way but you may need to just be able to ask for help. And I think that is the most challenging aspect as a man is being able to humble ourselves enough to say to somebody enough that I need some help.
Yeah. So that was what I was wanting to ask you guy. I'm kind of curious in the moment because I see people that like you have gone on this journey. They've leaned into it and said this, I'm gonna embrace the discomfort. And so what was when it was hard? You know, what, how did you how did you talk to yourself? What was the self talk to really keep going? Because it could easily like, Man, I could just bail out. I know that easy. Yeah.
Well, first of all, what I had to remind him sort of what what else is shared with you before about me being morbidly obese as a team like I have, I'm not a stranger to big change. Yeah, you know, I went through a big physical change and as I said, physical okay, because that's all I was focused on. I was like, I don't want to be like this anymore. I was overweight, I was unhealthy. And there was only because I didn't move my body very much. I played a lot of video games, watched a lot of movies and I ate food, a lot of food but not healthy. Okay, like, very calorie rich, nutrition poor. Right? And do that for five years. And obviously we're gonna see some negative changes and and I was really depressed, you know, very withdrawn. I was isolated because I was already dealing. I was already someone that deals with social anxiety and, you know, on top of that morbid obesity, it's like It's a double whammy, you know, and life was challenging. But when I got to that place, and I made a commitment to change for me, not for anybody else, but for me, and I just started to take a little bit of action every day, just a little bit, right? I just moved my body a little bit every day, you know, and I changed what I was putting in my mouth every day. Yeah, that is it. Like, I'm trying to overly simplify this, because that was just what I did. But here's the magic. I repeated every day. Okay, like, it wasn't like I did it once. It was like, Oh, I didn't work oh, well, I'd never give up. You know, like, No, I just committed to a process or a path. And I repeat it. But there was three questions that I had to answer. And so bringing this back to, you know, when I started to go through this same sort of change with the alcohol, and then a couple years after that I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. It's chronic. I live with it all the time. My hematologist jokes, but during COVID, she's like, you know, it's probably better if you just live in a bubble. Yeah. Because I'm highly susceptible to viral infections. I don't have any defense. So just again, I'm putting this into perspective. Because listen, people, they meet me, and they see how healthy I am and what how I live my life. And they just presume all you're super fit, and you're healthy because of that, like, No, I do this, because I don't want my condition to come and get me if you know what I mean. You know, a lot of us have autoimmune challenges, but it's our lifestyle that dictates whether or not that shows up and affects us. And so I make certain choices. So all this being said, yeah, there's three questions. Right? And I want to impart these three questions for anybody that's listening. Because if you get good at answering these questions, you'll always be able to navigate change, no matter how challenging it may look. The first question, Can I do it? Yeah. Can I actually do the thing I want to change? I think back to myself, like as a morbidly obese teenager, 15 years old, can I actually get healthy? Can I get healthy? Really, you know, 15, I've got all that life experience, right? Like, five of those 15 years, literally, over a third of my life is spent in on that in that unhealthy state. You can imagine where my belief systems were. You talked about the self talk. Yeah, the self talk was extremely negative. Nobody likes you. No one loves you. You know, nobody wants to write. That was how I felt. Right. And I believe that to be 100%. True. Yeah. Because it was true to me. You know. And it's a hard place to be but Right. Like, if you don't feel value, I mean, forget about it. It's it's tough. Like we're not going anywhere.
Yeah, even if you're super fit, right. Yeah. Still, if you still have that built self belief, change. Yeah. And lots
of us we do we mask things, right. And we get really good at that. And so where I was going, sorry, with all this is these three questions, I had to ask the question, Can I do this? And what I realized and asking that question of ourselves, can I do this change. So whatever the change is that you're thinking of, so I may listen to this, it's like, think about that change that you're identifying, that you'd like to make. And we know we're ready to make a change. We just do, you know, when we're more afraid of stayin, as things are the status quo of our life, versus the idea of things changing, you know, when we're afraid of the status quo, then come on, it's time to wake up and do something, you know, like, that's, that's just how I like to put it just blankly you know, it's like, okay, you're ready, you know, you're ready to do something. Right? So answer these questions, you know, can I do this? It's gonna identify, I don't know, enough to make a commitment or a decision. And so it's education. That's usually all that you need. For question. One. I gotta learn a bit more. Yeah. So I can get clear and confident that if I start to take an action, it's actually going to bring me towards the result that I want to see. created for myself or the change I want to see. Yeah, so can I do this? Yeah. You know, what I can't know. At 15. I went to the library. My kids dressed like that. Well, you just Google. I'm like your dad's older than Google like, hello. Right. And obviously, they're really snide remarks after the fact. But I won't go there. But you know, so I went to the library. I got books on fitness, nutrition, I guess what I did. And I read those books, educating myself, because then I got clear on what I could start doing that was different than what I was doing. And I just knew that was a different path that would take me to a different result. Yeah. And the only reason why I believe that was because I answered question two afterwards. So question one, can I do this question two, if I do this, will it work? Hmm. So for me, it was like, Okay, well, if I start to change how I eat, I start to move my body a bit more like exercise specifically. Yeah. We'll start to see some improvement. Some changes. But I want to make, and this is what's really cool is today, man, we have podcasts like yours. We have platforms out there that have amazing stories of people that have endured through terrible suffering, and have come out the other side changed and often stronger than they were. Because of that experience, you know, but it's social proof that wow, if somebody else did it. Yeah, you know, if they did it, why can I? Because it's a lot easier to answer a question to well, if I do this, will it work? It's like, wow, that person did it that worked for them. That person didn't work for them. That person didn't work for them. Well, I know it's gonna work for me, too. Yeah. So can I do this? Yeah, I'm educated. I know how know what I need to do. Yes, I can do that. Yeah, I can eat a little bit different. I can move my body a bit more. Well, I can stop drinking alcohol for a year. No problem. I can do that. Okay, if I do that, will it work? Okay, well, I see my life improve. I give up alcohol for a year. I mean, when I made the commitment, could I have said Yeah, absolutely. Like, because I wasn't feeling that way. I just been honest, like, I when I made the commitment, I wasn't thinking yes to number two, you know, if I do this, will it work? I wasn't thinking oh, by giving up alcohol, my life solid them, so I'm gonna get better. I hope that I didn't really know it until later on in the journey. So sometimes you have to make the commitment and just go for it. And believe that by doing that, good things will start to happen. Usually they do. But you have to be committed to repeating to be able to create that positive momentum. So you can see the positive stuff start to happen. A lot of people you know, like, I look at New Year's resolutions, right? It's like, New Year's Day, I'm gonna get fit, I'm gonna get healthy. And statistically speaking by January 21, three weeks into January, over 50% of people have committed to a healthy resolution have already given up. That's an awful, right. I mean, it sucks. I mean, that just tells me people are used to failing. Yeah, and are already expecting to fail even when they set a goal. And that sucks. So if I do this, will it work? Yes, we get to that place where you can say yes. Question three. This one's a tough one. Yeah, this is the one that I struggled with. And I'll be honest, I still struggle with sometimes I think we all do. Is it worth it? Now, when I'm talking to teams or organizations, I can use the term it, you know, is it worth it? Is the change worth it?
When I'm talking to people like you, and I know you're looking at another man, or there's somebody listening to this right now, my question to you is, are you worth it? Or more importantly, can you ask this of yourself? Am I worth it? Yeah. That's not an easy question to answer. Yeah. You know, because a lot of us don't feel like we have value. You know, like, we have that that belief around us already that say, No, I don't know if I am worth it. And if we're feeling like that, because this ties in and sorry, this is that long, about way of answering your question about the self talk, because this is what I think a lot of people are feeling is one of the self talks is like, I'm not enough. Yeah. It's around the value piece. And if we don't think we're enough, why put the investment of time to make the change? Yeah, because we don't think it's worth it. I'm not worth it. And, and that's an it's a really hard place to be. And that's why there is actually technically a three point you know, that we'll call it three a now there's a three beat. So if you're struggling with answering that question, am I worth it? You can't say, hell yeah, I'm worth it. And you can't say that right away. Find a community to belong with. Ya, ask yourself, Who do I need to surround myself with, to help me accomplish these changes I want to make, because they will have enough belief because they're just further along on the same journey that they can drip into us that don't have the belief in ourself yet. They give us that belief until we have it for ourselves. And the cool thing is, once we have it for ourselves, Well, now it's our turn. Yeah. Because to keep the change, and to keep you on the path that you've now committed to, to making your own life better, as well as the people of everyone around you is gonna benefit to it's now paying it forward. You know, you go from being the hero of your story to now being a guide or a mentor to somebody else on their story. Yeah. And that's the part that that's really where my life is gone this last 10 years, you know, those first few years is really just focusing on me get trying to improve myself my situation to help my family, but then it got to a place where I'm like, I felt drawn to now help others the same sort of change. Yeah. And that's Oh, man, there's like me up. Yeah. Does it make me feel fulfilled? Yeah. Does it make me feel happy? Yeah. I love it because it makes me feel like I'm providing value and it makes me feel a value. Yeah, we all have access to this. We all do. You know. So anyways, those are those questions I want to throw out Yeah,
that's good. I mean, I really, as I sit there and just look at you and listen to you, like I mean, you do have a cup overflowing type mentality, right? Didn't always pull and I gotta give it away, because it's
Thank you. Thank you. That's, that's its choice, right? And but all of us, I think get to that place. So you're doing that exactly what's your platform, but the content you're putting out this space that you're creating is the exact same thing. You saw a need for yourself. Yeah. Right, you start to help yourself. But then there comes a point where you're like, you know what, I want to help others with this, because it also in turn continues to help you with it, too. Yeah. And it just gives us purpose. Yeah. Meaning, which ties into fulfillment. And you know, I, there's Joseph Campbell, and he's the one that coined the term the hero's journey. Yeah. And, you know, we all have these journeys that we're on, and they're beautiful. And I know, that's what you highlight, you're highlighting people's stories, their journeys, right. And we can all see ourselves in other people's journeys. Yeah. And we can learn through that. But his whole thing, and this question that he would often ask people is, you know, well, what's, you know, are you following your bliss? Yeah. Are you following your bliss? And when he asked, What do you mean by that? He means, are you choosing to live a life that allows you to experience as much happiness, joy and fulfillment that you're capable of achieving, you know, are experiencing like, are you choosing to follow or create a life that allows you to have more happiness, joy, and fulfillment? And if the answer's no, it's like, well, would you like to change that? Like, would you like to see that become more of your life? Would you like to follow your bliss with your journey? That's good. And that's a great way to sort of start, you know, it's like, Am I following my bliss? Well, no, there's this I'd like to change this game. That's great. Yeah. Okay. Well, there, you've just identified a couple of things you'd like to change and improve on? Well, let's start there. Yeah, that's great.
So yeah, I mean, I really love to hear more of how you take all of that what you've just shared, how do you engage that and use health and fitness and wellness in what you do on a day to day and really help people do that all of everything that you've said, how do you use that this industry to do
that? Well, fitness is interesting, because it is one of the few things that ties into almost every other aspect for life. You know, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically fitness ties into all of that. Yeah. So I'm always trying to invite people, what is the one thing that you can do that by doing it makes everything else either easier or obsolete? You know, and I didn't coin that question. I forget his name. But it's called The One Thing is the name of his book. And I'm drawing a blank right now for the author. But regardless, that's the question that he really prefaces, you know, what is the one thing that by doing that one thing, it makes everything else in life a little bit easier, or maybe it makes a lot of the other things that you normally wouldn't be doing not required anymore? Yeah, I find that fitness is one of those pieces that makes us feel good. But it also helps our mind our mental health very closely, you know. And so I invite people to engage and just be more physically active every single day. And I'm not saying go to the gym and pound it across at workout every day. That's the surest way to burn yourself out. But it's good to move your body every day with purpose, create a little bit of a positive adaptation, meaning that we get the heart rate elevated, and we keep it elevated for a certain period of time. We push around a load, that's more than just our body weight. Why? Because it's additional resistance, and it does produce a positive adaptation. Because here's the thing, everybody, and you're gonna love this stress. Yeah, it's considered like the the epidemic of our generation is chronic stress. And a lot of the complications are crazy. But on the flip side, one of the best ways to also improve our lives is through stress. And people are like, What do you mean by that only? Well, working out is stress. Yeah, you're putting the body through stress. But it's controlled stress. And it's stress that creates a positive change, a shift hormonally, right down to our blood sugar, right down to our bodies, composition of fat to lean muscle mass. And all these things as we age. If we're not looking after it, believe me, you don't use it, you will lose it that adage, as much as it's cliche is true. This also goes with our mental ability, acuity, you know, just to keep your mind sharp. There's lots of things we can do. But we know that by working out, it makes a lot of everything else a little bit easier. Yeah. And so that's where I always like to engage people first is just start moving every day. If that means getting up for a 30 minute walk every day, that's a great place to start. Yeah. And if they say, Well, I don't really have 30 minutes. Okay, do you have 15 minutes? Because 15 minutes, think about that's only 1% of every 24 hours 1% of your day going to your own physical well
being. Yes. So good. Yeah,
I guess not very much. I'd like you don't have that. And they're like, Well, you know, because I'd have people, like, I just don't know if I have that time. And I'm like, well, and there's sort of this is a paraphrased version of it. But there is that sort of saying that, well, if you don't make time for your health might as well take time for illness, who, you know, because it may not be on the immediate. That's why I always joke is like, you know, a lot of people eat fast food. And believe me, there's been periods in my life, I've eaten a lot of fast food. It's convenient. And it tastes good. It's been engineered to taste a certain way. You know, it's engineered, and and it is it provides us a very instant, dopamine, serotonin, as well as a blood sugar lift. And it makes us feel good. Yeah. Until it doesn't, right. Can you imagine if every time you went into a fast food place a new order that fast food meal, if you put on like five pounds as soon as you ate it? Like if that response happened right away, or all of a sudden were like, you know, one big mac and I had a heart attack? You know, like, would we take the risk? Would we do it? Well, no, of course not. We wouldn't. But it doesn't happen that way. Change is gradual. Hmm. And that works both positively. But also on the negative.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, that's it. I mean, that's, that's really the gist of it. You know, that's why I want to invite people to start, I have a book called The Whole Life Fitness manifesto, if people are stuck on how to do this, and they need help with getting clear on the why great book, digital copies are free on my website, if they want a printed copy, I can't give it away for free, but you can pick them up Barnes and Noble, or Amazon, in Canada, at the local bookstore here is called chapters and they have it as well. But you know, outside of that, still my website, I got so much content, 1500 articles. I'm an OG in the blogging space. I've been doing it for 15 years. There's articles there to help you live your best life and get out of your own way. Start there, reach out to me on social, I'm very active, you can type my name, and you'll find me on social media. And let's have a conversation. You know, like, Listen, I'm happy to help if I can.
Yeah. And I'll say yeah, I mean, there's great stuff on your website. I already downloaded your five day sugar detox. Oh, beauty. There
you go. Nice. How's that going?
It's not easy. I'll say that.
But that's another one. Actually. Thank you for bringing that up. Cartwright. And I know we're getting on time here. But the sugar piece, like if people are looking for help with that, I know that that's on the nutritional side. So fitness is one thing, get your body moving. It's going to help everything. I don't want to go through it all. But just believe me, trust me, you know, just walk outside 30 minutes a day for 30 days. Tell me that your life didn't get better. Yeah, I just I challenge anybody to do that. And come back to me after three days and tell me things that improve? Yeah. Because I know it will. Yeah, but nutritionally, if you cut sugar out, even if people cut back 80% of their sugar intake, just add it. I'm not saying get rid of it entirely. But 80% If you got rid of 80% of the sugar that you eat, and only got it in it's true sources like through fruit and other types of natural sources. Like you still get sugar. Sugar is not a bad thing. But too much of it obviously creates a bit of a challenge. Yeah, but that's sugar. Detox is a great way to start. And yeah, that nutritionally Holy smokes. Does that make a difference?
Yeah, absolutely. No, like huge. Yeah. So I need to let you go. But I will. Yeah. Like, if you could a couple of sentences or less, I know it might be hard for you, right? No, no. Okay. Okay, I'll try. I'll try. Okay, is what advice would you give your 25 year old self?
Well, I'm gonna rip riff a page from Buddha's book. Okay. And I'm not a Buddhist, but I do appreciate some of the teachings from Buddha. And, you know, he's often his so, you know, a lot of us have heard this term, or this quote, or at least a paraphrase version of it. You know, this too, shall pass. Right? And what he was referring to is, it doesn't matter how challenging a situation you find yourself, don't worry. You'll get through this. We can weather the storm or we can get out the other side, because we are naturally resilient as people. Yeah, we do. We can endure hard stuff. And we come out the other side changed. Yeah. And life continues to go on. So this too shall pass. But here's the thing, and this is where I want to leave it because at my 25 year old self, this wouldn't really helpful. Very helpful. He wasn't just talking about the hard stuff. He was also very much so talking about all the good stuff in our life. Because this too shall pass. Yeah. And it's that reminder to be fully present and engaged with your own life. Right now. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, right now because now is all that we actually have is where everything happens. Yeah. So you know what, yeah, this too shall pass that first kiss you have that significant other the first time you You see your child's smile or laugh or giggle or take their first step. The first time you got that promotion at work like that, too will pass. enjoy it for what it was. Yeah, that's good. But But remember, it will pass. That's so that's it. That's all I got
die appreciate it. Man. That was great. Man. You are a firehose, so you gave it all I
know. Sorry, man. It is.
Man. So thanks for coming on. It was a blast.
Carrie, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I have a feeling we'll have follow up conversations. And I'm just looking forward to following along and seeing seeing more of the impact that you continue to make. And please know that if I could start with anything, just ask anytime, because people that are listening to this. You're in the right place right now. This is perfect. This is yeah. Thank you. Thank you for it.
No, thank you, man. Appreciate it. Thank you.
