Nevada
Vegas Proof
“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.”
- CS Lewis
In America, dualism reigns in our efforts as secularist and moralist. They seem to be mutual exclusive in theory; however, they both are rooted in Western ideology and mixed into practice throughout our culture especially in the “cathedral” of Las Vegas.
Las Vegas, Nevada to a moralist is as an escape, a temporary moment of existence to “sow wild oats”, to get out all the “bad stuff”, or just take a break from trying so hard all time, and hopefully, in the near future, live a better life as a “good” person. The secularist views the Vegas experience as a right of passage or a “once in lifetime” type of experience. Either way, whether an aberration or the pinnacle of ecstasy, Vegas has this modern day human connection for all of us to explore ourselves in the most uninspiring of ways. Which is why I guess I, not too long ago, made the trek to the mecca of lights, gambling, and debauchery.
The drive itself from Salt Lake City is long but unique in landscape. Mountains and snow to rocky desert to more wide open sand and rock, then you see it…the lights of Vegas. Very unusual experience. It’s almost like a dream, not a good one but not a nightmare. It is located in the middle of no where with surrounding mountains in the distance, but no large body of water, no resource, or proximity to something of significance or unique in landscape; just Vegas. Full of lights, noise, out-of-towners, gambling, shopping, prostitute flyers, free booze, and oh did I say lights? My eyes are still blinking. Everything exists in this place to constantly grab your attention. A world full of dopamine hits, like instagram with a pulse. It is a monument to the lowest forms of capitalism…or a mortuary, I can’t decide.
One night I lost three hundred dollars the next I won seven hundred. Half the time, I was drunk, losing money, and disgusted. The other half, I was sober, winning, and having fun. One meal, I ate MacDonald’s, and another, I ate a thirty dollar steak. Life is not lived in the extremes, yet Las Vegas provides you with both, instantly. It is like you are a celebrity for a weekend, getting a piece of something you thought wasn’t attainable in your reality. Yet, there is no fulfillment in it, only temporary pleasure.
Moralism and secularism may seem to be opposites, but hidden beneath the contradicting practices, they have the same beliefs. They each are chasing one high to the next, hoping to grab a feeling that makes them feel alive, important, but mostly not themselves. It maybe through different means like elitism or comparison over drugs or sex with strangers, but it’s all the same, we are all bored out of our minds and starved for the truth of a full, unashamed existence. Whatever you define yourself as, trying to do “right and wrong” or trying to do whatever we want, both have failed us in the grand human experiment.
To me, Las Vegas validates this. It proves, we are all hurting, seeking relief from our lives and ourselves. I know church-goers and stark materialist, who have made the trip multiple times. The disappointment we feel leaving vacation, in general, tells us, our lives are made up of constant attention to junk we don’t want and things we don’t need. The ride home only makes us wish for a different life without any effort. If we only believed intentionality to be the key to true pleasure and life-long joy. Because pure, unadulterated pleasure only comes from sacrifice. If we don’t know what to sacrifice to discover more of our true self, then we won’t pursue it intently.
However, change is a grind, but so is a life we don’t want.
Western ideology has made us trust in concrete ideas and methods. When in reality, we have only begun to explore what is true. Truth is powerful, life giving, and resolute. But to say I have it at only 35 years on this earth? I reduce the truth to what I can control, not for self-fulfillment but preservation.
